Make Life Better for Your Disabled Partner by Doing These 5 Things
Not many people out there have the strength to date a disabled partner, and that’s okay. The usual questions concerning their capability to take care of their disabled companion are often too frightening, which is why most singles aren’t that keen on becoming a part of the disabled dating scene and giving a person with a health problem a chance. It is also not unusual for relationships and marriages to break after one of the partners suffers an injury. The responsibility is too big, and it’s more honest to leave straight away than torture the other person with your disinterest, guilt reproaches or incapacity to provide their needed care. When it comes to relationships with the disabled, it’s all about either being fully committed or not at all.
However, there are those who, despite finding their partner’s disability an evident obstacle to a number of activities they would do together, they still don’t see it as a matter that cannot be overcome. Known are cases of couples becoming much tighter than they used to be, more loving and caring with each other than they were prior to the accident. When things get emotional, absolutely honest, and when people start relying on each other as much as they do in the case of a disability – everyone is vulnerable and aware of the importance of the other person’s life, dedication, and love. And that makes things almost unbreakable.
If your partner has recently suffered an injury, is permanently with a disability or has a silent health problem, here are a few advice to help you make their life better, easier and more fulfilled.
Don’t Give Them Any Kind of Special Treatment
Paradoxically to their situation, the disabled don’t enjoy being given any kind of special treatment. Their disability is already making them feel “special” enough, so any kind of condescension will make them feel less of a person. Plus, treating them any differently will signal them you feel sorry for them – and that’s not the feeling you want to awaken. Instead, include them in your regular activities, assign them house chores like you normally would (obviously, something they can do), include them in the everyday stuff, and – most importantly – don’t pretend the disability isn’t there. Even when you are booking adult day services transportation for doctor’s appointments, physical therapies, etc. – take things lightly. Acknowledge your partner’s disability, talk about it normally, ask your partner what would make them feel better, etc. They will appreciate such an honest approach.
Ask for Professional Medical Help
It’s absolutely beautiful that you want to do everything yourself but, do know that it’s best you consult a medical professional that would help you with your partner’s disability – at least until you learn to do things yourself. Whether we’re talking about hiring medical transportation for when you are going to their doctor’s appointments or hiring a (part-time) nurse that would come over and help out, it’s all okay. If you are pushing yourself too hard, you’ll eventually snap. So, one step at the time will do. These days, there are a number of wheelchair van transportation services such as AC MedTran that are happy to help and make your situation as easy as possible.
Respect Their Pride
It is no secret that the disabled tend to be rather proud, especially when it comes to tasks they aren’t entirely capable of doing alone. Certainly, your natural instinct will be to ask them if they can do something on their own but be careful not to cross the line. Asking if they can do something is okay; pushing them to accept your help is wrong. Your partner is aware they have a disability and the last thing they want is for you to remind them of it by being too condescending about it. Don’t humiliate them by actively reminding them of things they CAN’T do. Respect their pride, at all cost.
Emotional Support Is of Essence
Being in a relationship with a disabled person is not only about the practical ways you can help them – it’s about emotional support, too. Be aware your partner is likely to get fragile from time to time, simply because they’ve been through a lot during their lives; so, be kind and compassionate and sometimes tolerant to their emotional reactions. Healthy emotional support and care go a long way (with both the disabled and those without a disability), so make sure you are there for your partner. Support them, defend their honor, talk to them if they need it, make them laugh… be their rock.
Don’t Be Overly Positive
Any type of forced behavior is obvious – to your partner and everyone around you. If you are constantly in a super positive mood, your partner will know you are faking it, and feel offended. Instead – to make the atmosphere great – just… be. Don’t be afraid to show your partner you had a bad day at work, a fight with your friend, a happy moment with your mom, etc. Live life, and you’ll be okay.